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Rest (part 1)

This is not a typical Monday post for me. This is not a typical post for anyone I don't think. You know those "processing thoughts as I type" kind of posts? That. I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head and I kind of want to journal them as I'm processing them. So here ya go ...

I'm doing a Beth Moore Bible study right now, Breaking Free. I'm only about halfway through, but I'm really wanting it to stick, so I'm trying to really focus on it and figure out exactly what I need to learn from it, and changes I need to make in my life.

This week, one of the things she hit on in the homework was that there are blessings that come from obedience to God. That sounds great, and even makes sense, but what exactly does obedience to God mean? I've been a Christian for a long, long time, so I know what "spiritual disciplines" are, but I'm at a place in my life where I long for *relationship* and I'm struggling a bit with *religion*. I'm pretty good at filling in my checklist and holding it up like a report card to show that I'm doing well. Great, but what is the point if my heart isn't in it? I KNOW the Lord can speak to me even if I'm half heartedly reading my Bible, but I want more than that. I really want to WANT TO, if that makes sense; not just for my checklist, but for my heart.

Okay, so those are the thoughts that were rolling around in my mind as I went into Bible study.

We got started, and she immediately took us to Matthew 11:28-30.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I don't know if these verses do to you what they do to me. For me, every time I read them, there is a sigh of relief and a feeling of a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. The whole theme of this lesson was rest. You may have noticed that I am a person who puts a lot of pressure on myself, and likely on those around me as well. It's difficult to rest because there's always something that needs to be done. One phrase Beth Moore said has just kind of screamed at me: the captivity of activity. Oh yes. That is where my struggle is.

There is more to this, but this is enough for now. I'll add to it later this week, after I've done a little more processing. I just wanted you to start the week as I am, with a sigh of relief and a weight lifted off of your shoulders.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

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